The Kerry ad you’ll never hear:

”I’m John Kerry and George Bush gave me a hangnail.”

“I’m John Kerry and anything George Bush can do I can do better.”

“I’m John Kerry and George Bush can’t do anything right, and I can’t do anything wrong.

"Don’t pay attention to a growing economy. Don’t consider the huge numbers of people returning to work now after losing their jobs when the tech bubble of the Clinton years burst. Don’t listen to the millions of Iraqis and Afghanis who are free from oppressive regimes.

Don’t think about the thousands of terrorists who are in prison or dead because of the Bush war on terror. Don’t even consider the Medicare prescription act that George Bush pushed through Congress to give relief to seniors.

The sensitive, caring leadership George Bush has demonstrated following the 9/11 attacks, don’t even think about it. Then there’s the beefing up of the intelligence community and the reformed communications and unified terrorist watch list George Bush has implemented, ignore it.

Reduced taxes, believe me, the increases in take home pay of the middle class saw in their paychecks was a mirage, they got nothing. The rich, since they already pay 58% of all income taxes and are merely the engines driving the American economy, why shouldn’t they pay more. Then there’s the poor, since they are part of the 40% of Americans who pay nothing, why shouldn’t they get a tax cut?”

Then there’s truthfulness with the American people, George Bush told you what he did based on the best information he had at the time, HE LIED WHEN HE DID THAT! Just like you did when you told your spouse that car was a great buy, before it turned into a lemon six months later.

But me, I came back from Vietnam and testified before Congress and the American people about atrocities committed by US soldiers there, stories I had made up and embellished to score points with my anti-war buddies, but that wasn’t lying, just good marketing.

Sure in 1971 I told Crosby Noyes on Meet The Press, “I would have to say that, yes, yes, I committed the same kind of atrocities as thousands of other soldiers…” But that’s ok, I still want to be the first admitted war criminal to serve as president of the United States. I want it, I deserve it, and if you vote for me, you’ll get what you ask for.

An expert at negative, whining, finger pointing, and accusing, that’s me. A veteran who made a name for himself by creating false accusations of honorable people, yep. A person who makes issues of people who I think should apologize for things I think are wrong, while not having the manhood to admit that my own mistakes have caused grievous harm to others, why break a perfect record?

Yep, I’m John Kerry and if you don’t have the desire or intelligence to check the Bush record yourself, trust me; I’ll be sure and tell you what I want you to hear. If you are willing to believe me instead of the objective record that refutes what I say, you're my kind of people. Believe me, if you vote for me I won’t apologize for anything, never have, and never will."

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